“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?”
– John Lennon
It’s a kind of fear, the kind where no matter how hard you try to wipe off the mud stuck to your shoe on the pavement, you just can’t be rid of that gunk. It becomes a part of that shoe. It taunts you until you can be rid of it completely. That’s how I feel when I think, and unfortunately even dream about now, of this certain group who once were a big part of my life. It’s been awhile, since I’ve been in contact with them. That doesn’t stop my former association with them from still plaguing me in the form of nightmares.
It’s been years, since I last saw them in person or lived about half a mile down the road from them. We moved cities. We moved somewhere I wouldn’t necessarily call greener pastures. I don’t have any of my happy memories from when I was a child here. But neither are they around. There was a time when I was oblivious to what I now know and have unconsciously felt about them all along. There was a time when I wanted to be around them as often as possible and my life seemed way too mundane without them nearby. It almost feels like my own version of Revenge. If only, I could figure out who I’m portraying in mine.
“I implicate no others in this crime… Cannot stand to be one of many
I’m not what they are.”