“Don’t judge yourself by what others did to you.”
― C. Kennedy
It’s been awhile since my last post, but I think I’m now ready to send this one out. I intend to be very brief with this post. It has always bothered me how almost everyone I’ve ever spoken to on the subject of child sexual abuse have attached far more importance to sexual abuse of girls instead of giving equal importance to both sexes. When I’ve tried to explain and/or discuss the issue with people, I’ve either been shut down or sidetracked on more than one occasion. Because for some reason the suffering of a girl is more important than a boy. How is sexually assaulting a girl child any more sickening than a little boy being abused in the same way? Assault in any form is a major violation of one’s basic human rights. What irks me most is when the child has nobody to turn to after such a torturous and perplexing experience. When the people he/she should be able to turn to won’t believe in them, won’t protect them. Sometimes the child won’t even bother asking for help because they fear the judgement and possible reproval.
Often the child blames him/her self for the pleasure they might have felt. They start to keep it to them self, usually for years to come. Some may even succeed in repressing the trauma of the experience which only leads me to wonder how tormented they must feel when they eventually do recover those memories. As for those of us who choose to carry the burden of that sickening memory forward, we only end up mentally whipping ourselves for being that sick and depraved person who felt pleasure in such a lewd act. Do we ever really heal?
I am not to blame.